Nothing prepares us for difficult news. Friends may say, “I have something I need to tell you,” or, “I wish I could tell you this in person.” When we hear these words, most of us understand we’re going to learn something that’s not easy to hear.

Cancer is a scary thing. Even with medical advances and longer life spans, we still fear the word cancer. And that’s not the only disease that frightens us. What do you say when a friend shares, “I’ve been diagnosed with cancer (or some other difficult illness)?”

Most likely, you’re caught by surprise. So you may respond honestly, “I’m shocked as you must be. I don’t know anything about this cancer (or other illness).” That leaves the door open for your friend or loved one to explain things. While they’re talking, you should have enough time to get your bearings. When there is a lull in the conversation, you might ask, “How are you doing with all of this?”

What doesn’t help? Crying; or showing your fear. Your friend or loved one is dealing with their own emotions and fears; it’s not their job to comfort you. This is one of those times when you need to gather your strength and put on a strong front. Shed your tears in private and confide your fears to someone else.

When the news is shocking, we must stand tall. And lend our strength to the loved ones that need it.