Despite medical breakthroughs and longer life expectancies, cancer is very frightening. And it can be hard to know how to communicate with a patient and their loved ones. That’s what happened to a reader. Her best friend’s mom was diagnosed and treated for cancer. Things were on an even keel and then the cancer came back. The best friend isn’t willing to discuss it and the reader wonders what’s appropriate to do for the mom? When you don’t know how things stand and someone isn’t open to discussing it, what can you do?

A personal note is a kind and nonintrusive way to let someone know you care. It gives you the ability to reach out and allows the patient the opportunity to decide whether they want to pursue any further contact. Whatever the outcome, you’ve delivered your message.

So what do you say to someone dealing with a difficult illness? You say you care. Here’s an example:

Dear Mrs. Peters,

I’ve thought of you so often these last few months and wondered what I could do to let you know that I care. It’s hard to know what to say or do as I haven’t wanted to intrude. But I wanted to let you know how sorry I am that you’ve had to go through this. I will keep you in my thoughts and continue to hope for the very best outcome.

With much warmth,

Cindy