| Two of my friends are good listeners; one says it’s because she’s the middle child and the other because she’s the eldest. Well, I’m a good listener too, and I’m the youngest. So there goes the birth order theory.
So what makes a good listener?
Most important, the willingness to keep quiet while someone else speaks. But it’s not just listening that’s important; it’s being attentive and present. In this era of multi-tasking, it’s hard to concentrate on just one thing and keep your hands still. And yet if you’re really going to listen, you need to pay attention to what is said, making nonverbal gestures as well as verbal acknowledgements so the speaker understands that you’re following and encouraging the conversation.
Listening is not an innate ability; it’s a skill. And like any skill, it takes lots of practice to perfect. So why not start? Choose a coffee or lunch date and ask “How are you doing?” Then plan to listen. Ask questions that encourage conversation and focus your attention on the other person. Hopefully, it feels good to be a listener and you’ll try it again – soon.
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How to Listen
By Robbie Miller Kaplan
Monday, 05 April 2010 00:00
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| One of the greatest gifts you can give someone facing a tough time is a willingness to listen. And yet listening doesn't come easy. Listening is a skill, just like speaking and writing, and like any skill, you need to practice; the more you practice, the better you become.
We each have the power to give this all important gift – our time and attention. Here are seven strategies to help you become a better listener:
1. Choose a private and comfortable place to talk.
2. Disregard your own feelings and thoughts and focus solely on the speaker.
3. Look directly at the speaker.
4. Avoid interruptions and don't talk.
5. Demonstrate warmth in your voice and your facial expressions.
6. Change position if you find your mind wandering or feel you are slipping away.
7. Stay calm and be patient. |
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