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“I have just finished reading your wonderful book and I'm really impressed. It's complete, clear and concise while at the same time offering great insights and cautions. Doing all that within 44 pages is amazing.”

Donna Moore, Chair of Cedars UU Church, Pastoral Care Team in Bainbridge, WA

Book Store

Illness & DeathHow to Say It When you Don't Know What to Say The Right Words for Difficult Times: Illness & Death (ISBN: 978-0-615-23210-2)

It's hard to know what to say and do when someone is ill or bereaved. Should you go to the hospital? Attend the visitation? Learn how to write sympathy notes, what to say, things to do,  how to effectively listen,  funeral customs of different faiths, and more. (44 pp.)

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SuicideHow to Say It When you Don't Know What to Say The Right Words for Difficult Times: Suicide (ISBN: 978-0-9840640-1-4)

It is extremely difficult to lose a loved one but even more so when it’s to suicide. The intensity of the loss might be exacerbated by the stigma that’s often associated with suicide. The bereaved need your support just like anyone experiencing the death of a loved one and it’s important that you not stay away for fear you’ll say or do the wrong thing. This volume on suicide will help you navigate sensitive areas while provide caring support to the bereaved. Sample condolence notes. (32 pp.)

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MiscarriageHow to Say It When you Don't Know What to Say The Right Words for Difficult Times: Miscarriage (ISBN: 978-0-9840640-0-7)

About 10 to 15 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. For the parents who hoped and dreamed for this pregnancy, the miscarriage is a death in the family and should be treated as such. While it’s hard to know what to say and do, this volume on miscarriage will help you help the parents by providing concrete ideas for support and communication that will facilitate healing. (32 pp.)

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e-Books

Death of a ChildHow to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say: The Right Words for Difficult Times: Death of a Child (ISBN: 978-0-9840640-2-1)

The death of a child is a tragic loss, not just for the parents but the entire family. Parents don’t expect to bury their child as it is out of the natural order of things. The loss of a child is a life altering experience. This volume provides specific suggestions and strategies in oral, written, and nonverbal communications so you can offer the vital support that the family needs. (11 pp.)

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Death of a NewbornHow to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say: The Right Words for Difficult Times: Death of a Stillborn or Newborn Baby

(ISBN: 978-0-9840640-3-8)

There is something profoundly tragic when a baby dies. The news is as shocking as it is rare; out of over 4 million births in the United States, approximately 28,500 babies die before they are a year old. Infant death is different than other deaths and because of its rarity, you might not have much experience to draw from. This volume provides very specific suggestions to help you help the family work through what might be a prolonged grief. (9 pp.)

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Pet LossHow to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say: The Right Words for Difficult Times: Pet Loss (ISBN: 978-0-9840640-4-5)

Pets play a special role in our lives and they’re a source of companionship and love. The loss of a pet is a painful experience and pet owners will experience the myriad of feelings associated with grief. This volume provides appropriate strategies to help you extend support to those grieving the death of a beloved pet. (8 pp)

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Caregiver ResponsibilitiesHow to Say It® When You Don't Know What to Say: The Right Words for Difficult Times: Caregiver Responsibilities (ISBN: 978-0-9840640-5-2)

The longer we live, the more health issues we’ll experience at a time in our lives when we might not be able to take care of ourselves. The Family Caregiver Alliance reports that unpaid family caregivers will likely continue to be the largest source of long-term care services in the U.S. Not only do individuals facing health issues need support, but the caregivers who take care of them need help too. This volume provides specific suggestions on what you can do to make a difference to both the caregiver and those needing help. (9 pp.)

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DivorceHow to Say It® When You Don't Know What to Say: The Right Words for Difficult Times: Divorce (ISBN: 978-0-9840640-6-9)

Almost fifty percent of first marriages fail. Divorce is one of the most stressful life events, second only to death. And while death is a devastating experience, the bereaved usually find much support in the community. Statistics indicate that it takes a minimum of two years to heal from a divorce. This volume provides targeted suggestions on how you can support and help divorcing partners and their families heal and move on. (11 pp.)

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Job LossHow to Say It® When You Don't Know What to Say: The Right Words for Difficult Times: Job Loss (ISBN: 978-0-9840640-7-6)

Job loss is a disorienting experience; routines are disrupted, relationships change, roles might be reversed, and financial circumstances altered. It’s tough to be upbeat for interviews when mourning the loss of your job. This volume provides concrete ways to support the job seeker and boost confidence through oral, written, and nonverbal communications. (10 pp.)

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Copyright© 2004 by Robbie Miller Kaplan

Originally published as: How to Say It When You Don’t Know What to Say The Right Words for Difficult Times
All rights reserved.