Most people read my blog for tips on writing sympathy notes. It seems a lot of thought or a lot of angst goes into writing a message of sympathy.

Is a sympathy note harder to write than let’s say, a note of apology? Or a thank you note? All three types of notes have something in common; they all deal with emotion whether sorrow, sadness, or joy, and our goal is to convey the appropriate emotion.

But sympathy notes aren’t just about emotion; you’re writing to someone who’s very sad and feels a horrific sense of loss. The goal in writing a condolence message is to provide some comfort during this painful period and that’s where the difficulty comes in.

How do you write a message that is truly going to comfort someone feeling such pain? The best condolence notes come from the heart and if you can write one that conveys both your sadness for the loss and in some way provides comfort, then you have a thoughtful and memorable sympathy note.

But what if you are one of the many individuals who find that hard to do? Then do the best you can. Express how sorry you are for the loss. Let them know you are thinking of them. If you have a personal connection, communicate that you care. If you were acquainted with the deceased and have a memory, this is the time to share it.

If you acknowledge the loss and express your sympathy, than you’ve done what’s most important. And maybe that’s just enough.