Grief is such a painful experience; it seems to take over your body and your life. Often it takes a mountain of courage just to get out of bed in the morning and face the day.

Support and companionship are so vital during the mourning process. Well-meaning friends and loved ones often say, “Call me if you need anything.” Well, it’s common for the bereaved not to know what they need and they lack the energy to make a call. Their thinking is so clouded; they’re getting by hour by hour.

When asked what helps the most, the bereaved frequently say, “Just show up.” Come to the hospital, the visitation, the funeral or memorial service, and the reception. And then offer to take a walk, listen, go for coffee or a meal, or just sit. And as you listen and observe, you will begin to understand what else might help your friend or loved one.

But know that if you are present, your presence is a gift. A priceless gift at that, because you demonstrated that you are there – you’ve shown up.