My best friend has just been diagnosed with lung cancer. She has withdrawn from everyone and is very despondent. I don't know what to say to her. I have asked to do errands, have delivered meals to her and her husband, and more, but she still refuses to come out of her shell. Her husband says she stays in her bedroom most of the time. What can I do or say to help without upsetting her more?

There is always hope and that's what you can convey to your friend. I would purchase some "you're in my thoughts" cards and plan to send one or two a week, with a handwritten message that you love her, want to be with her, and that you truly believe that there is always hope. Keep in touch with her husband; he needs you too. Ask him what you can do, if you can visit and just listen. Stay a presence in their lives. Accept that each person goes through this journey in their own way.