I just found out that my brother has a rare and aggressive form of cancer. It is spreading, and looks very bad. The hard part is that my brother lives far away, and has been distant from the rest of the family for many years. How do I let him know that I love him and I care, even though he is not likely to receive it? I live too far away to visit him.

This is a difficult situation to deal with, especially when family members have not been close. I often suggest that you do what is in your heart. You might want to write your brother a letter and tell him how sad you are that he is sick; let him know how you are feeling whether you wish you hadn't lost contact or that you wish you were physically closer and could spend some time with him. Is there a childhood memory that would make him smile? A favorite treat that you could send or a book that you think he would enjoy or even a CD of music he likes. Depending on his reception, keep in touch. E-mail is a great way to stay in contact when a family member is sick and especially one that is far away. But do say and do what you feel so you do not have regrets.