Ask Robbie

My coworker has breast cancer.  She went through radiation, chemotherapy and surgery.  Just when she thought she was through with all of it, they found more tumors and they have grown quite dramatically.  She will be retiring here in a few days because this is a terminal condition.  Someone has sent around a "get well book" for everyone to sign.  Many of us feel quite uncomfortable with it as some of the verses are religious, which our co-worker is not, and other verses are very "sappy."  Should we even be sending this, and if so, what type of thing should we write in it?

If you and others are uncomfortable with the book, I would trust your gut instincts. Instead, of the book, how about picking up a plain scrapbook or album with plastic sleeves at a craft store. If using the plastic sleeves, buy some plain note cards in the same size. Distribute them or pass the scrapbook pages and ask everyone to write a message. Suggest the messages focus on her retirement and memories of working together. They can be anything - remembrances of a special project, her work / personal qualities, funny moments, or experiences you have shared. Close with letting her know how she has made a difference at work or in your life and how you will keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers. This can be given to her as a parting gift or sent to her home. If you handle it this way, it can be filled with remembrances, maybe photos you have of office parties, etc, and something she will look at time and again. Everyone needs to know they are cherished. You might also want to chip in for a gift certificate for a massage or gift card for a dinner out to her favorite restaurant.