There’s much you can do to show support from afar, and you can still make a difference in helping friends and loved ones deal with loss. What you choose to do depends on your willingness to be involved and the needs or desires of your loved one.
Here are some ideas of what’s worked for others:
1. Take your cues on telephone calls as they might disturb both privacy and routines. Ask, “Is it okay if I call on Sunday? What would be a good time?” And then make sure you do call so they’re not waiting and disappointed.
2. If it’s okay to call, you might choose a day of the week and a specific time, checking in weekly to let them know they are in your thoughts.
3. If they prefer you not call, use email as a way to communicate. It’s not intrusive and it allows the recipient to read and respond at their leisure. And it also lets them know they’re not forgotten.
4. Ask if there’s something specific you can do to help; you can conduct online research or ask for a contact list so you can call others with updates.
5. Mail a package of goodies every other week or once a month. You can get a small, flat rate box from the postal service and fill it with homemade cookies or other treats.
6. Ask if there is a favorite take-out food outlet. If so, buy a gift card for a dinner; its one less night they have to worry about a meal.
The effort you make will mean so much to someone feeling so alone. And you’ll feel good in the process.