Comforting Words
  • Home
  • Store
  • Blog
  • Author Bio
  • About
  • Media Room

Sympathy Notes - Write From the Heart

11/5/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
Most people find that writing a sympathy note is hard. It can be intimidating to address someone who is experiencing so much pain. We might think, "What can we possibly say that will make this experience less painful?"

I find it's often helpful to put things in perspective. If you view the process as an expression of your care, you'll find it's not that complicated if you speak from the heart. Take the time to jot down how you are feeling and then draft a condolence note that expresses your thoughts.


Are you feeling sad over the loss of a friend’s dad? Has your aunt been in your thoughts since you heard of your uncle’s death? Do you have a special memory that always comes to mind that you can share? Will you be reaching out through a visit or phone call?

The very best messages of sympathy convey your caring thoughts. If you take the time to explore your feelings and then express them, you’ll craft a sympathy note that is sure to comfort.


0 Comments

Must Your Condolence Note Be Memorable?

8/10/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
Many people draw a blank when it comes to crafting a sympathy note. It appears that a lot of thought or a lot of angst goes into writing a message of condolence.

Is a sympathy note harder to write than let’s say, a note of apology? Or a thank you note? All three types of notes have something in common; they all deal with emotion whether sorrow, sadness, or joy, and our goal is to convey the appropriate emotion.

But notes of sympathy aren’t just about emotion; You’re writing to someone who’s very sad and feels a horrific sense of loss. The goal in writing a condolence message is to provide some comfort during this painful period and that’s where the challenge comes in. How do you write a message that is truly going to comfort someone feeling deep pain?

The best notes of condolence come from the heart and if you can write one that conveys both your sadness and understanding of what it means to lose someone you love, chances are you'll write a thoughtful and memorable sympathy note.

But what if you are one of the many individuals who find that hard to do? Then do the best you can. Express how sorry you are for the loss. Let them know you are thinking of them. If you have a personal connection, communicate that you care. If you were acquainted with the deceased and have a memory, this is the time to share it.

If you acknowledge the loss and express your sympathy, than you’ve done what’s most important. And maybe that’s just enough.


0 Comments

How to Write a Sympathy Note When You Never Met the Deceased

5/21/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
It happens frequently. Someone we know has a death in the family; a friend’s mother dies or a colleague’s son is killed in a car accident. The loss touches you, but you have never met the deceased. You know it’s important to reach out to the bereaved and extend comfort, but how do you write a condolence note for someone you don’t know?

When someone dies, all the bereaved have left are their memories. Sympathy notes that express your condolences bring needed comfort to the bereaved. The most meaningful ones include your thoughts, personal memories, and if possible, a treasured story. Photographs are especially appreciated.

You do need to dig a little deeper to write a meaningful note of sympathy for someone you don’t know. Here is an example of a condolence letter you might write to a friend on the death of a parent you have never met.

Dear Peter,

I was so sorry to hear about the death of your father. I’m sure your dad had a hand in modeling behaviors that shaped the special person you are – your wonderful medical skills, compassion, and patience. And your keen sense of humor. You have shared lots of stories about your family and I’m hoping that the good memories will be a comfort to you while you grieve this loss. Know that I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Much love to you and Melissa.

Barbara

Image: http://simplesympathy.com/printable-sympathy-cards


0 Comments

Let Your Sympathy Note Tell a Story

2/26/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
Most of us struggle when it's time to write a sympathy note. In the face of so much sorrow, we want to extend comfort, but struggle to find the right words.

How can we bring solace to the bereaved through a condolence note? The sympathy notes that extend needed comfort are personal and  share thoughts and memories of the deceased. Before you begin to write a sympathy note, take the time to reflect on your personal memories and jot down some stories that illustrate the unique qualities of the deceased.

Everyone has a story about a friend, loved one, colleague, and community member. The friend that brought you soup when you had the flu, the co-worker who tried to help dry your shoes by putting them in the microwave, or the neighbor that attempted to push your car when it was stuck in the snow and got his car stuck too. We all know funny, charming, and caring tales and when it is time to write a sympathy note, it's these stories that are most appreciated.

When someone dies, all we have left are memories and it's these shared experiences that are sure to bring some warmth during a difficult time.


0 Comments

How to Close a Sympathy Note

1/8/2018

0 Comments

 
Most people find it difficult to compose condolence notes that convey their sympathy. And while the note itself is challenging, I think it can be even harder to figure out a meaningful way to close.

​Here are ten ideas:


  1. May love and your beautiful memories sustain you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  2. I, too, will remember your father with much affection.
  3. I don’t have much wisdom to share. I just want you to know that you are thought of and cared for. Be kind to yourself and give your dear husband and children a hug from me.
  4. May your beautiful memories bring you peace and comfort.
  5. Please accept my deepest sympathy on your loss. You are in my heart and prayers.
  6. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
  7. We are thinking of you constantly. May your daughter’s memory forever be a blessing.
  8. May your fondest memories of him comfort you always.
  9. We hope that knowing that our love and thoughts are with you will give you some comfort in the days and months ahead.
  10. You and your dear family have my heartfelt and sincerest condolences.
0 Comments

Writing with empathy

11/6/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
When it’s time to offer condolences, we send sympathy cards and sympathy notes. The very word sympathy connotes a sense or feeling of compassion. The act of sending a sympathy card or condolence note is a way of sharing the loss with the bereaved.

Extending empathy is a bit more personal. Empathetic statements demonstrate that you possess the power to understand the feelings of others and that you identify with the bereaved.

I always think of empathy as the ability to put yourself in the shoes of someone else. Empathetic sympathy messages might include statements, such as:

  • I will never forget Molly’s smile.
  • Your mom had such a wonderful voice that I think of her every time I hear the choir.
  • It’s hard taking my walk without Kevin, but I use the time to think about the positive influence he had on my life.
  • You gave your dad such loving care and I know you meant the world to him.

When preparing to write in an empathetic style, it helps to ask yourself: “How would I feel if my ** died?” “What would make me feel better?” “What would comfort me?” Once you have your perspective on the loss, your note takes on a more personal tone.



0 Comments

Timing your sympathy notes

6/11/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
When someone dies, our natural impulse is to immediately reach out and express our sympathy. Some of us can rise to the occasion and quickly craft a heartfelt condolence message. But if you need some time to do the job justice, take it. The bereaved get most attention in the early days and weeks, while they’re in shock and processing the loss, and most likely won’t remember much. It’s in the weeks and months ahead, when mourning takes place, that they might most appreciate a sympathy note from you. Here are five strategies for preparing notes of sympathy:

  1. Wait a day, a week, or a few weeks to digest the news and collect your thoughts before writing your note.
  2. Don’t do it all in one sitting.
  3. Draft your note first then edit, revise, and proof before writing your final note.
  4. Allow the note to sit for a day before mailing. Re-read it to ensure it reflects the true message you would like to convey.
  5. Include your address on the envelop to make it easy for the recipient to reach you, should they desire.

0 Comments
Forward>>

    Categories

    All
    Anniversaries
    Belated Sympathy Note
    Bereaved Children
    Condolence Note
    Coping
    Death Of Baby
    Death Of Child
    Death Of Parent
    Facebook Condolences
    Funerals
    Grief
    Guest Book
    Help
    Holidays
    How To Help
    Illness
    Listening
    Memorials
    Memorial Services
    Miscarriage
    Mourning
    Pet Loss
    Social Media
    Suicide
    Sympathy Notes
    Thank You
    Visitation Etiquette
    What Not To Say
    What To Do
    What To Say

    Author

    Robbie’s goal is to help her readers communicate effectively when their loved ones, neighbors, colleagues, and community members face difficult times. 

    RSS Feed



Buy the Books
Book Store
e-Books
Picture
About Words That Comfort
About the site
Author Bio
Media Room

Contact


Robbie Miller Kaplan
wordsthathelp@gmail.com
© Robbie Miller Kaplan. All Rights Reserved.
All materials contained on this site are protected by United States copyright law and may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published, broadcast, neither performed nor used to prepare published works, without the prior written permission of Robbie Miller Kaplan. You may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright, logo or other notice from copies of the content.

Photos used under Creative Commons from Pink Sherbet Photography, Gytha69, EatLiveGrowPaleo.com, Ralph Hockens, adamthomasjones, mikecogh, Mike Sinko, scotbot, davidmulder61, szabolor, quinn.anya, Kekka, “Caveman Chuck” Coker, mikecogh, "Stròlic Furlàn" - Davide Gabino, garryknight, elPadawan, jennaddenda, Parker Knight, fabienlej, francisco_osorio, Vilellic, Never Edit, cogdogblog, Zeitgeist, JeepersMedia, NCDOTcommunications, Upupa4me, havens.michael34, Red Stamp, sinclair.sharon28, DoroSverigeMWC, steenslag, Theo Crazzolara, The National Guard, nikoretro, half alive - soo zzzz, Matthew Paul Argall, pruzhevskaya.photo, My Photo Journeys