Folks think they’re being helpful when they suggest to someone mourning a loss, “Call us if we can do anything.” While the sentiment is sincere, when you ask, “Please let me know if there is anything I can do,” it places a burden on someone who is grieving and can barely muster the energy to get out of bed. They won’t call you; they're too drained to take the initiative, they probably don’t know what they need, or, they don’t know what you'd be willing to do. And what if someone does take the initiative to call and ask for your help? Chances are you won’t be available exactly when your assistance is needed. And the last thing someone grieving needs is to ask for help and be turned down.

So, what can you say and do to really help?

                     
   Illness & Death                            Suicide                                 Miscarriage

When someone close to us is going through a challenging time, we want to be there to give our support. We want to say - and do - the right things that will help them cope and recover - and know they are not alone.

But what do you do when you're truly at a loss for words?

Robbie Miller Kaplan provides the tools you'll need in "How to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say: The Right Words for Difficult Times." Her publications, now available in volumes on Illness & Death, Suicide, and Miscarriage, and e-books on Death of a Child, Death of a Stillborn or Newborn Baby, Pet Loss, Caregiver Responsibilities, and Divorce show insight into the process of grief and detail specific things to say and do, sample sympathy letters, and words of wisdom to reach out to those dealing with these difficult issues.