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Alternatives to sympathy notes

11/14/2011

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Sympathy notes can be tough to write. It’s hard to know what you could possibly say to comfort someone grieving a painful loss. And yet it is your care and connection that goes a long way in helping someone heal from loss.

If you are truly blocked and can think of nothing meaningful to write, here are some alternatives for expressing your condolences without a note.

1. Attend the funeral and visitation and express your condolences in person.

2. Make a donation and let the organization express sympathy when they send a notification of your donation. Make sure you indicate who the donation is in memory of, who and where to mail the notification to, and your name. Check the death notice to see what organizations are designated for donations. If there aren’t any, choose an organization appropriate to their interest or loss. If there isn’t any you can choose their religious organization or as an alternative, many find comfort in helping those in need through food banks or other social programs.

3. Send flowers or a plant a few weeks after the death and include a thinking of you note with your name.

4. Invite the bereaved to your home for a home cooked meal and offer your condolences in person. Or arrange to bring a meal to the bereaved and attach a note that you are thinking of them.

5. Wait a week or two and call to see if it is convenient to deliver a food gift. Deliver a fresh-baked bread, a package of muffins or prepared sandwiches from a favorite bakery or deli and express your sorrow in person.

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    Robbie’s goal is to help her readers communicate effectively when their loved ones, neighbors, colleagues, and community members face difficult times. 

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