Belated Sympathy Notes

For whatever reason, you never got around to writing that sympathy note. Maybe you are pressed for time or it felt too hard. Now it is weeks and months later and you wonder, "How late is too late when it comes to writing a message of condolence?" As one widow shares, “It's never too late. It's not as if we finish grieving and ‘forget’ that our loved one died.” A loved one’s death is always in the hearts and minds of the bereaved.

Here are some tips on belated condolence notes:

• Whether you just learned of a death or procrastinated for months, don’t be afraid to reach out.
• Begin your sympathy message with an expression of how you are feeling. For example: “I just wanted you to know that Susan is often in my thoughts and I remember her with love, as I know you do."
• Follow with additional thoughts, a personal story or memory of the deceased, and your expression of sympathy.
• The bereaved will be grieving for a long time and your thoughtfulness and care will help in the healing process.

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Robbie Miller Kaplan is an author who writes from a unique perspective as a mother who has lost two children. She has written How to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say, a guide to help readers communicate effectively when those they care about experience loss, now at a reduced price for e-books for "Illness & Death," "Suicide," "Miscarriage," "Death of a Child," "Death of a Stillborn or Newborn Baby," "Pet Loss," "Caregiver Responsibilities," "Divorce" and "Job Loss." All titles are in Amazon's Kindle Store.
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