Why we write sympathy notes

When someone dies, it’s easy to write a sympathy message to the bereaved on their Facebook wall, or a condolence message in an online guest book. These messages reach the bereaved quickly and clearly show you care. Facebook, guest books, and e-mail afford immediate access to the bereaved in the hours and days after a death. But the bereaved are usually in a state of shock during those early hours and days and that’s when most friends and family members pay their respects.

So what’s left to bring solace in the weeks and months following a death when true mourning takes place?

It’s common for the bereaved to feel isolated and alone during the mourning period. This is the time when the bereaved truly appreciate a note of sympathy.

Why is a written condolence note or sympathy card so important? If you’ve written on someone’s Facebook wall or in an online guest book, the bereaved must read it while sitting at a computer or using an electronic device. When they’re feeling sad or lonely, a computer or electronic device will be their companion while they re-read their messages.

It’s so much more comforting to hold a stack of handwritten or typed sympathy letters. When feeling blue and needing support, the bereaved can sit in a favorite spot, maybe with a cup of coffee or tea, and re-read the written messages.

Condolence letters are powerful tools in the mourning process. They become keepsakes and the bereaved will turn to them again and again in their journey towards healing.