Writing with empathy

When it’s time to offer condolences, we send sympathy cards and sympathy notes. The very word sympathy connotes a sense or feeling of compassion. The act of sending a sympathy card or condolence note is a way of sharing the loss with the bereaved.

Extending empathy is a bit more personal. Empathetic statements demonstrate that you possess the power to understand the feelings of others and that you identify with the bereaved.

I always think of empathy as the ability to put yourself in the shoes of someone else. Empathetic sympathy messages might include statements, such as:

• I will never forget Molly’s smile.
• Your mom had such a wonderful voice that I think of her every time I hear the choir.
• It’s hard taking my walk without Kevin, but I use the time to think about the positive influence he had on my life.
• You gave your dad such loving care and I know you meant the world to him.

When preparing to write in an empathetic style, it helps to ask yourself: “How would I feel if my ** died?” “What would make me feel better?” “What would comfort me?” Once you have your perspective on the loss, your note takes on a more personal tone.

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