How to Write Sympathy Notes

When we hear there's been a death, our first impulse is to respond quickly by writing a sympathy note. But waiting to send a condolence note is okay too. It’s in the weeks and months ahead, when mourning takes place, that people might most appreciate a sympathy note.

The following are some tips for preparing heartfelt sympathy notes, which can be sent the traditional way – on printed cards or notepaper – or via technology, such as e-mail or online Guest Books:

• Wait a day, a week or a few weeks to digest the news and collect personal thoughts before writing the note.
• Begin with a sentence that expresses sadness for the loss.
• Use the sentences that follow to articulate personal feelings, memories, anecdotes, and any ways the deceased touched others and made a difference.
• Draft the note first. Then, edit, revise, and proofread before writing the final note.
• Allow the note to sit for a day before sending it. Re-read it to ensure it reflects the true message that it is intended to convey.
• Include the sender’s address on the envelope, or the e-mail address in the online Guest Book, to make it easier for recipients to respond back, should the recipient wish to do so.

​Robbie Miller Kaplan is an author who writes from a unique perspective as a mother who has lost two children. She has written How to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say, a guide to help readers communicate effectively when those they care about experience loss, available in ebooks for "Illness & Death," "Suicide," "Miscarriage," "Death of a Child," "Death of a Stillborn or Newborn Baby," "Pet Loss," "Caregiver Responsibilities," "Divorce" and "Job Loss." All titles are in Amazon's Kindle Store.

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